oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
