His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
