Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize