I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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