fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
