If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
