he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
