marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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