You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
