hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
