I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
