Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
