I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
