found the other keg... it's in the tree
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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