So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
