We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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