I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
