Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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