it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
