Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
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she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
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