I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
