worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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