New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
