Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
