First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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