I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a search helicopter?!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize