Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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