True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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