I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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