a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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