Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
