Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
