I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Randomize
