But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
