KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
