gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
