oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
