How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
