If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
