i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
