I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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