she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
