He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
