I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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