I must be too annoying 4 u.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
As shirtless as possible
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
