But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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