Im at strip club and am horny
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
