Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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