Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize