No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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