That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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