I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
