Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Randomize
