she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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