You just made me feel so damn special
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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