don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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