ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
