Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
