You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Randomize
