Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
