your parents love me but you hate me
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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