Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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