I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
